excerpts

What About Our Thoughts?

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 02:10:05 -0400

I remember when I found out that one of my favorite aunts was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. I was devastated. I couldn't imagine how someone who was so full of life could possibly become an invalid.  Every time I went home to Houston, I watched for signs that the disease was progressing. And, sure enough I noticed a few changes in my aunt as the years went on. She moved slower, sometimes had tremors, and was often less steady. But, two things never changed: she always wore a smile that could light up a room, and she was always full of a zest for life. It didn’t matter if she got out of the car walking a little sideways (smile), my aunt continued to drive, live fairly independently, and even play the piano on many occasions, for many, many years.

Once someone overheard my aunt’s prayers, and heard her say these words:  "God, thank you that I have my health and strength. And, please, Lord, bless those less fortunate than me, who aren't well."  Here was a woman who by society's standards was seriously ill, yet, she called herself “healthy” and lived a healthy life. How could someone with a "debilitating illness" be thankful for their health? And how could she be so incredibly happy?  I realize now that my aunt knew a secret to life, that many of us never, ever learn: Our thoughts and words are the most powerful tools that we have. In biblical terms, there’s power of life and death in the tongue. And Philippians also encourages good thoughts by saying that when we think on good things, the peace of God is with us.

Don’t believe me?

Just ask a doctor about some of their “miracle” cases and they will show you that a patient with a positive attitude is far more likely to heal than the one who takes on the illness as their identity, and envisions the worst fate.

Or, ask my girlfriend who was given the worst possible prognosis early in her pregnancy, yet against the odds, delivered a fully healthy baby girl, with no complications.

Heck, ask me about how I struggled to write a book for YEARS, but only finished it when I stopped doubting myself, began to call myself an author, and believed that it could be done.

On the other hand, how many times have you declared it to be a “horrible day” only to find that your words were a self-fulfilled prophecy? Or, talked negatively about your work situation, then found that the environment became even more hostile? Or, worried yourself to death about a health situation, then wondered why it continued to worsen?

No doubt, there are things in this world outside of our control. But, we do control our thoughts and words. And, if we make them thoughts and words that give life, promote healing, personify positivity and love – we have that much more chance of living lives that exhibit the same.

My aunt lived a life that was longer and healthier than most people I know, all because she knew one of the secrets to life.

Now you know it too.

What About Loneliness?

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 02:10:30 -0400

Have you ever been lonely? I mean, the kind of loneliness that you feel physically – like an aching down deep in your soul?

I have. I’ve been in a crowded room of people who loved me, yet felt as if I was all alone. And more times than I care to admit, I’ve prayed that God would end the loneliness by bringing me the man who I’m supposed to be with forever. Since I've been married, I figure that I might have to get back in line behind my single girlfriends who’ve never been married before, but otherwise, it shouldn’t take too long, right?

Wrong.

Seven years – seven long years – after my divorce, and I’m still single. Wondering who this person is and what life she’s living. "She" was supposed to be happily married with 2 or 3 kids, her own business, and lots of community service. She was supposed to be part of the PTA and carpool, and be exchanging tips on good schools and extra-curricular activities.

She wasn’t supposed to be all alone. And, worse yet, sometimes lonely.

Sometimes, when I’m thinking like this, I feel so deeply that there’s something missing. I want to grab hold of something or someone to fill it. (And I must admit that in the past, I have! – smile) I find myself daydreaming about that special someone, and thinking that if "he" was here, it would all be okay.

But if I’m real with myself, I’ll admit that as long as I’m trying to fill a gaping hole, I’m really not ready. Because if he comes along while that hole is there, he’ll just fall right through it. And, I’ll still have a void.

Those of us who are single have got to stop thinking that he'll come along and make it ok. And those of us in relationships have got to stop looking to our mates as our ultimate savior. We can’t expect any person to complete us. Instead, "he" takes good and makes it better, or better and makes it best. He doesn’t take brokenness and make it whole. He complements, not completes us.

On the other hand, HE takes us beyond brokenness. HE is our ultimate source of everything we need. HE doesn’t mind that we’re imperfect and insecure; HE doesn’t judge. HE never tires of our long rambling stories and never needs space when we want to cuddle. HE’s always supportive and tells us we’re beautiful on what we think is our worst day. HE always sleeps over and waits around for breakfast. (smile) Plus I’m always more than enough for HIM – even if I think I’m too skinny or weigh too much, talk more than I should or am extremely shy, feel as if I don’t always fit in . . . . HE loves me just the way I am.

And, even better, HE promised to love me forever, and I don’t have to wonder if he means it.

Hmm . . . . . Next time it seems so tempting to fill the void with “him,” I think I’ll give HIM a try instead. It doesn’t mean that I’ll stop praying for my soul mate. But maybe, just maybe, it means that I’ll actually be ready when he comes.

What About Prayer?

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 01:22:49 -0400

There are times when I get down on my knees and wonder why I even bother. Don’t even try to act like you don’t feel me. You know that at some point in your life you’ve felt that way too. You’ve prayed the same prayer for the 100th time and started to wonder if anyone was listening. Not saying that you doubted the existence of God; just saying that perhaps you wondered, why bother asking when it seems as if He’s going to do what He wants regardless?

I can remember a time when I was down on my knees praying and I literally felt like I couldn’t get up if God didn’t change my situation. I was praying and crying --- it was really quite dramatic in hindsight – because I actually remember telling God, “I’m not doing this anymore! You’re going to have to work something out here, because I’m tired of being patient! No more!”

I wanted God to miraculously heal my then husband of the mental illness that had fallen upon him and then restore my marriage, despite the infidelity and lies that had torn it apart. I kept praying about what I wanted, and waiting – somewhat patiently – for God to fix it in the manner in which I’d decided was best. Then, when days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, I got fed up. So, I got big and bad and TOLD God that I wasn’t doing it anymore. I’d been patient and faithful, and it was time for him to come through on his part of the bargain.

I’m laughing at the thought of it now. In hindsight, I’m amazed at my boldness. But, at the time, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable ultimatum. “God, either you fix this situation right now, or I’m gonna . . . .” Yeah, there was a slight glitch in my plan. How do you threaten God? “I’m gonna stop believing in You!!?” Yeah, that would fix Him! “I’m gonna end my life?” Whoo-hooo, that would really show Him. I mean, really, how does one make God do anything?

Nonetheless, that’s what I told Him. I was tired of being stuck in that situation, and it was time for God to fix it.

So, I sat there rocking, praying, crying, and begging in a way that you’ll only understand if you’ve ever been “through.” And I waited for something to happen. After all, that’s the power of prayer, right?

I waited for my then husband to walk back into the room in his right mind and somehow magically wipe all of our marital problems away. I waited for the situation to resolve in the way in which I’d fantasized.

But it didn’t.

My husband kept talking to people who weren’t there. I had to deal with the reality of my marriage ending, and the insecurities that come from being cheated on. And the shame that I shouldn’t have felt, but that comes when you care too much about what other people think.

My situation didn’t change.

But, a real miracle did happen that day. Because the more I rocked, prayed, cried, and begged; the more God began to come into my heart and fill me with His peace. And as the peace filled me, I realized that my prayer wasn’t what I thought it was.

I thought I wanted to go back to the way things were before. I thought I couldn’t make it “through” the hard times to a place of healing.

But really, I just didn’t feel like I could do it alone.

I knew that if I could make it through, I might be better for having gone through the trial. Knew that I would love harder, take less for granted, become more secure than I’d ever been. Some part of me knew that there was no going back – only forward. I was just scared because I didn’t think I was strong enough to make it.

So, when God answered my prayer by being there with me, holding me, comforting me, and loving me in the way that only He could, my situation didn’t change; . . . but I did.

And just that easily, I finally understood the reason for prayer.